I don’t know how much time I have as I’m certain they’re already looking for me. It doesn’t matter what happens to me, all that matters is the truth. It’s our right to know what our government is keeping from us, and as a citizen of this great country, I know it is my duty to release this information to the public. If you are reading this, there is certainly not much time until it is wiped from the internet. I’ve set up multiple backup mirrors in case the original is taken down, but that can only last so long. I ask that if you are able, make your own mirrors of this file and get it out there. I believe in the internet and its ability to bring the truth to light even under the watchful eye of big brother. Share it on social media, share it with your friends, save it to your computer. Don’t let the truth get buried!
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SUBJECT OVERVIEW
1. Codename: Alien Piss 1
- Flavor profile: Blue Raspberry Lemonade
- Rating: 4.75/5
- Subject Summary: Flavor was tested meticulously over a course of years by many individuals. General consensus being a delightfully refreshing flavor that satisfies even the pickiest of sweet-tooths. Recommend immediate distribution and viable ADV status.
- Long term effects: Test subjects experienced long term satisfaction with their purchase, along with intent to purchase the same if not similar products in the future.
2. Codename: Alien Piss 2
- Flavor profile: Strawberry Lemonade
- Rating: 4.5/5
- Subject Summary: Nearly as much testing as our first subject. Test subjects have made it clear that the flavor is just as good as the original. Strawberry flavoring is apparent, strong, and pleasing.
- Long term effects: Overall a positively received alternative to the original, nicotine delivery is optimal and test subjects admit to their cravings being satisfied by this sweet treat.
3. Codename: Alien Piss 3
- Flavor profile: Watermelon Lemonade
- Rating: 4.5/5
- Subject Summary: Subjects admitted they began realizing a trend in the flavor profiles. Neuralizer approved for memory wipe of unruly test subjects. After reintroducing the flavor to neuralized subjects, they admitted it tasted great and it was their new favorite. Recommend ADV status alongside first trial, and more research into the long term effects of neuralization practices.
- Long term effects: Another success in satisfaction among test subjects. Vacant stares were reported in some cases, but neuralizer is the most likely cause of this. Nicotine cravings 100% satisfied among all trials.
4. Codename: Alien Piss 4
- Flavor profile: Peach Lemonade
- Rating: 4.4/5
- Subject Summary: Lemonade flavor reported full and enjoyable. Hint of peach is a resounding success among trial participants. No negative effects observed apart from a disturbing amount of subjects refusing to give up their test devices at the conclusion of the trial. Ornery test subjects were given a mild sedative to ease discontent at having their devices taken. Day 4 after trial and subjects are still sleeping off the effects. Recommend sedative dose be lowered considerably.
- Long term effects: Reported extreme satisfaction among subjects who had an affinity toward peach flavors. Trials with subjects who had tasted the previous three flavors had taken to calling the flavor “Alien Piss 4” without prompting. Further testing required as to the effectiveness of using consistent branding of the new flavors in this line.
5. Codename: Alien Piss 5
- Flavor profile: Grape Lemonade
- Rating: 4.5/5
- Subject Summary: The new test of a lemonade inhale and grape exhale was reported to be a refreshing change from the first four trials. Recommend more research into mild flavor enhancements to bolster the already well received lemonade flavor.
- Long term effects: Test subjects have been observed drinking an odd amount of grape flavored drinks, and have opted for receiving grapes with their meals each day. They have also begun to use grape themed jokes, puns, and can’t seem to stop mentioning grapes in day to day conversation.