January 05, 2022 6 min read
Disclaimer: This is a parody of a self-improvement New Year’s Resolution Article. While the information contained within is not entirely fabricated, the opinions expressed do not represent our corporate views or policies.
Everything you’ve been told about creating resolutions is wrong. Self-styled experts will suggest that you pursue achievable goals that have been broken into small steps. They are convinced that relying on friends and family to hold you accountable is somehow beneficial. Obviously, the whole point of New Year’s Resolutions is to humiliate friends and family who failed to achieve their own resolutions.
2022 can be different. 2022 MUST be different. In this exclusive deep-dive, we will provide you with the New Year’s Resolution secret THEY don’t want you to know. As a special bonus, we will provide the Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for vapers and the biggest vaping game changer in 2022.
The illusion of progress is just as powerful as progress.Define what progress means and you can completely control your life and destiny.
Make your New Year’s Resolutions as vague as possible. Take advantage of our innate ability to justify any lapse in judgment, failure, or error. It is this defense mechanism that makes it easy to give up on traditional New Year’s Resolutions and declare them to be a big waste of time.
Leverage this cognitive defense to your advantage this year. Declare victory early and often.
What does the perfect New Year’s resolution look like? Get ready for the Ten Perfect New Year’s Resolutions.
The Perfect New Year’s Resolution MUST be structured so that any accomplishments that occur during the calendar year can be attributed to a resolution made at the start of the year.
Here are the best resolutions. They are far removed from the specific goals that so many will pursue in the coming year. But unlike those who choose the traditional resolution path, you are guaranteed to achieve your resolutions.
These banal quips are perfect New Year’s Resolutions. Imagine it is January 2nd, 2022. You go to the gym using a free pass. While there, you listen to your favorite pod cast. Don’t bother wiping the equipment when you are done, the world is your oyster.
Grab your favorite coffee beverage on the way home. Pay it forward to the next customer who has an order under $10.
When you get home, take a bath with a bath bomb. Boom. It is over. Mission accomplished. You have knocked out all ten perfect New Year’s resolutions in just a few hours.
Our surefire method of achieving perfect New Year’s resolutions is foolproof. But maybe the concept of “living your best life” does not provide the guidance you need for the coming year. Below are ten vaping related goals. They are not as amazing as our perfect New Year’s Resolutions because they require more work.
Adult vapers may find these resolutions worthy of their time.
The world will not stand still in 2022. The independent vaping industry might be backed into a corner, but we have a big prediction for how the industry will change forever. Introducing E-juice flavors that will only appeal to adults. This pivot will change everything.
Beverage and fruit flavors are one of the most controversial topics when it comes to vaping. Dr. Farsalino demonstrated that most adult vapers prefer sweeter e-liquid flavors over tobacco flavored juices in his landmark study.
There is no huge surplus of tobacco infused beverages at this time because the flavor profiles of fruits are simply more palatable. While many vapers prefer the authentic tobacco flavors, most go the route of choosing the most universally loved flavor profiles on earth.
But not everything delicious is sweet. What about savory?
It is a myth that simply cannot be put to rest. A fact-free belief that fruit and beverage flavored vape juices exist to appeal to minors. It is a claim that does not stand up to any scrutiny. Adults prefer fruit and beverage flavors. The FDA lists chocolate as a characterizing flavor, even though “chocolate vapes” aren’t exactly setting the world alight.
The fruit flavor fallacy is not only wrong because most adult vapers prefer fruit and beverage vapes. The most popular flavor with underage vapers was a prefilled, mint-flavored pod. Unicorn Milk sales to the underage weren’t even a rounding error for a slow month of Mint Juul sales. Moreover, max-VG juices were the least discrete and secretive way to vape. Relying on loud, thirsty, and large box mods, you can hear a 230 watt mod through walls and dozens of feet away.
If you look at the flavor profiles featured, picked at, and vilified by anti-vapers, the fruit flavor fallacy claim also falls apart.
It is doubtful that many teens obsess over crème brulée, a faux-French dessert that peaked in popularity 20 years ago. Sugar-laden cereals that were part of a balanced breakfast in the Reagan-era clearly target nostalgic Gen X, Boomers, and older Millennials. And by the way, Millennials are not minors. They are middle aged or getting there at a rapid clip.
Despite these obvious observations, the belief that delicious fruit flavors appeal to minors rather than adults lives on.
The ridiculous claim that any complex fruit or beverage flavor with a sweet profile is formulated to hook minors refuses to die. It is time for the master formulators and mixologists of the vape industry to step it up and create savory e-liquid flavors. What we need in 2022 are flavors so challenging and intense that their intended sale to adult vapers cannot be denied.
Adult Appealing vape juice flavors will be the ultimate game changer. Mature taste buds are ready. The vaping world longs for these e-liquid flavors. Here is our forecast for the hottest vape juice flavors of 2022.
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