Disclaimer: This is a parody of a self-improvement New Year’s Resolution Article. While the information contained within is not entirely fabricated, the opinions expressed do not represent our corporate views or policies.
Top Ten New Year’s Resolution for Vapers
Everything you’ve been told about creating resolutions is wrong. Self-styled experts will suggest that you pursue achievable goals that have been broken into small steps. They are convinced that relying on friends and family to hold you accountable is somehow beneficial. Obviously, the whole point of New Year’s Resolutions is to humiliate friends and family who failed to achieve their own resolutions.
2022 can be different. 2022 MUST be different. In this exclusive deep-dive, we will provide you with the New Year’s Resolution secret THEY don’t want you to know. As a special bonus, we will provide the Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for vapers and the biggest vaping game changer in 2022.
How to Make a Perfect New Year’s Resolution
The illusion of progress is just as powerful as progress. Define what progress means and you can completely control your life and destiny.
Make your New Year’s Resolutions as vague as possible. Take advantage of our innate ability to justify any lapse in judgment, failure, or error. It is this defense mechanism that makes it easy to give up on traditional New Year’s Resolutions and declare them to be a big waste of time.
Leverage this cognitive defense to your advantage this year. Declare victory early and often.
What does the perfect New Year’s resolution look like? Get ready for the Ten Perfect New Year’s Resolutions.
The SECRET: Keep Your Resolutions Vague
The Perfect New Year’s Resolution MUST be structured so that any accomplishments that occur during the calendar year can be attributed to a resolution made at the start of the year.
Here are the best resolutions. They are far removed from the specific goals that so many will pursue in the coming year. But unlike those who choose the traditional resolution path, you are guaranteed to achieve your resolutions.
- Stay in your comfort zone.
- Be the hero of your adventure.
- Write your own narrative.
- Surrender to the flow.
- Do the things that smart people do.
- Enjoy the journey and don’t fixate destination.
- Take time for self-care.
- Do what needs to be done.
- Live your best life.
- Focus on yourself first.
These banal quips are perfect New Year’s Resolutions. Imagine it is January 2nd, 2022. You go to the gym using a free pass. While there, you listen to your favorite pod cast. Don’t bother wiping the equipment when you are done, the world is your oyster.
Grab your favorite coffee beverage on the way home. Pay it forward to the next customer who has an order under $10.
When you get home, take a bath with a bath bomb. Boom. It is over. Mission accomplished. You have knocked out all ten perfect New Year’s resolutions in just a few hours.
Vaping Goals and Resolutions for 2022
Our surefire method of achieving perfect New Year’s resolutions is foolproof. But maybe the concept of “living your best life” does not provide the guidance you need for the coming year. Below are ten vaping related goals. They are not as amazing as our perfect New Year’s Resolutions because they require more work.
Ten Easy Vaping Resolutions
Adult vapers may find these resolutions worthy of their time.
- Participate in the vaping community. Whether it is responding to org and their Calls to Action or chatting online, vapers will continue to be ignored and our rights trampled if we do not speak up.
- Consider reducing the nicotine strength of your e-liquid over the next year at a set rate.
- Combine vaping with a walk. Whether you are taking a break at work or greeting the sunrise, try to incorporate a brief walk into your schedule. Not to be a nag. But consider drinking more water while you are at it.
- Switch to a refillable device. If you are using prefilled pods or disposable vapes, this will reduce the waste you are generating and save money.
- If you use a refillable pod that does not use reusable pods, consider switching to a device where all you need to replace are the coils. This reduces the amount of plastic you are pitching in the trash. While not as big of a deal as switching from disposable or prefilled to refillable vape, every little bit helps the planet.
- Educate non-vapers about the importance of characterizing flavors on your vaping journey.
- Vape politely, unobtrusively, and in designated locations when in public to put vaping in the best light possible.
- Support the independent vaping industry. Big Tobacco holds all the cards and has been playing them the last couple of years. Unless you look forward to a world where tobacco-flavored prefilled vapes are the only game in town, drive the extra mile to your local vape shop.
- Support your favorite online vape shop and save big. The PACT Act and signature on delivery has made ordering vapes online more time consuming. But we are working hard to make the process as affordable and efficient as possible. And you still save a huge amount of money compared to buying products in person.
- There are limits to what we can say. But if you are a dual user, why not check out this resource page set up by United Kingdom’s National Health Service. Comparing government policies can be very educational.
Vaping Forecast 2022
The world will not stand still in 2022. The independent vaping industry might be backed into a corner, but we have a big prediction for how the industry will change forever. Introducing E-juice flavors that will only appeal to adults. This pivot will change everything.
Adult-Appealing Line of E-Liquids
Beverage and fruit flavors are one of the most controversial topics when it comes to vaping. Dr. Farsalino demonstrated that most adult vapers prefer sweeter e-liquid flavors over tobacco flavored juices in his landmark study.
There is no huge surplus of tobacco infused beverages at this time because the flavor profiles of fruits are simply more palatable. While many vapers prefer the authentic tobacco flavors, most go the route of choosing the most universally loved flavor profiles on earth.
But not everything delicious is sweet. What about savory?
Fruit Flavor Fallacy
It is a myth that simply cannot be put to rest. A fact-free belief that fruit and beverage flavored vape juices exist to appeal to minors. It is a claim that does not stand up to any scrutiny. Adults prefer fruit and beverage flavors. The FDA lists chocolate as a characterizing flavor, even though “chocolate vapes” aren’t exactly setting the world alight.
The fruit flavor fallacy is not only wrong because most adult vapers prefer fruit and beverage vapes. The most popular flavor with underage vapers was a prefilled, mint-flavored pod. Unicorn Milk sales to the underage weren’t even a rounding error for a slow month of Mint Juul sales. Moreover, max-VG juices were the least discrete and secretive way to vape. Relying on loud, thirsty, and large box mods, you can hear a 230 watt mod through walls and dozens of feet away.
If you look at the flavor profiles featured, picked at, and vilified by anti-vapers, the fruit flavor fallacy claim also falls apart.
Nostalgic Vape Juice Flavors
It is doubtful that many teens obsess over crème brulée, a faux-French dessert that peaked in popularity 20 years ago. Sugar-laden cereals that were part of a balanced breakfast in the Reagan-era clearly target nostalgic Gen X, Boomers, and older Millennials. And by the way, Millennials are not minors. They are middle aged or getting there at a rapid clip.
Despite these obvious observations, the belief that delicious fruit flavors appeal to minors rather than adults lives on.
Adult Appealing Flavors
The ridiculous claim that any complex fruit or beverage flavor with a sweet profile is formulated to hook minors refuses to die. It is time for the master formulators and mixologists of the vape industry to step it up and create savory e-liquid flavors. What we need in 2022 are flavors so challenging and intense that their intended sale to adult vapers cannot be denied.
Adult Appealing vape juice flavors will be the ultimate game changer. Mature taste buds are ready. The vaping world longs for these e-liquid flavors. Here is our forecast for the hottest vape juice flavors of 2022.
Hottest Vape Juice Flavors of 2022
- Umami is our top-pick for the hottest new class of vape juice flavors. What better way to appeal to sophisticated vapers than with the most pretentious of the five basic tastes? Umami is pure savory goodness. It gives vape juice makers the ability to branch off into broth, soy sauce and meat inspired vape juices. Expect umami flavored e-liquids to proliferate like the endless array of fruit and menthol nic salts that started hitting the market six years ago. The sky is the limit for Umami Vape Juices in 2022.
- Vinegar Vape Juices are the future. Especially in box mods. Sourness, acidity, a strong kick, and an eye-burning sting that is impossible to miss. Vinegar can be incorporated in catsup vapes. More intriguingly, Carolina, Kansas City and Memphis BBQ flavors all have a strong vinegar base. There is rice wine vinegar. There are brines. Dill pickle vapes. Pickled onion vapes. The list is endless.
- Lobster Thermidor will be the single most popular high-VG vape juice flavor in 2022. Move over lychee ice. And since this dish is pretty much an artifact of the 1950s, it cannot be accused of appealing to minors in the same way that a 1970s cartoon like Scooby Doo can.
