March 29, 2019 7 min read
This is a story of a man who took it upon himself to seek out the greatest berry flavor in the land. The man’s name is lost to history, but his story remains. Listen close and listen well, as his quest may bring clarity to those who are destined to follow in his footsteps.
He journeyed far and wide, asking for direction from any who he passed on the roads. Eventually, his path brought him before a building of bright red brick and mortar. The word “Kilo” shown in neon letters above the doorway, and he stepped through without a hint of fear. Leaning against a glass counter, eyes focused on a video playing on a silver box, a man of middle years stood at the sound of the bell above the door frame chimed in time with the black matte frame pressing passed it.
“Hello” said the middle aged man, unconsciously reaching to brush the grey hair of his beard back into shape. “What can I do for you?”
The man approached the counter, glancing at the shelves of e-liquids. “I’m looking for a new juice” he said. “A berry flavor that would rival all others.” The employee smiled widely.
“I have just the thing” he turned and pulled a clear bottle with a label between silver and gold with the word KILO clearly printed across the front. “This isDewberry Cream by Kilo Eliquids.” said the employee, “And I guarantee you would not find another so sweet in the land. One of our best sellers.” The man took the bottle and eyed it speculatively.
“This sounds more like a cream flavor.” he said “I am looking for something berry flavored in particular.” The employee reached under the counter and pulled out a test mod.
“Don’t be so quick to judge sir, while it is creamy, it has an undeniable berry taste to it as well, go on and have a try.” The man took the mod and tapped the fire button. The wattage shown bright at 55 and he lifted the drip tip to his lips and breathed in the sweet vapor, filling his lungs.
“You are right,” he said, his voice distorted slightly as he spoke through a lung-full of vapor. “This is delicious, but as I suspected, it is far too creamy to be what I’m looking for. I have no doubt others would find this enough berry flavor for them, but I’m looking for another.” and with that, he turned and walked out of the shop, the employee calling after him with promises of other flavors to suit his needs.
The man continued on his journey, his next stop being a vapor store in a large city he had been informed of by a passing couple. He neared the city as the sun began to fall behind the mountains. The lights of the city filled sky to rival the sun itself and he walked on in awe of the sight before him. He came to another building, this one made of solid grey stone, with the simple word “Vapor” above the door, black and backlit with a white light. He stepped inside and was immediately hit with the powerful smell of multiple e-juice flavors filling the air. He walked to the counter and stood there patiently as the two employees working there finished helping their customers. A dark haired man with a short cropped goatee finished with his customer first and turned to him. “What can I get for you?” he said.
“I’m looking for the greatest berry flavor.” said the man. “One to rival all others.” The employee remained stoic as he turned to the wall behind him and carefully picked a bottle from the display shelf. He looked up at the top shelf and reached for another, grunting with irritation when he realized he couldn’t reach them. He set the first bottle down and grabbed a small step ladder. He took the first step and shook the ladder, leveling out the legs, and then stepped up two more rungs before he could easily reach the other flavors he wanted. He pulled down three bottles and turned to set them before the man on the counter.
“These are the best berry flavors we have,” he said with an air of weary confidence in his voice. He reached under the counter and pulled out a test mod and handed it over “Give them each a shot and let me know what you decide.” as soon as he set the mod down before the man he turned to help the next customer who had appeared at the other end of the counter. The man took the mod, this one had an elaborate coil with fresh white cotton threaded through. He opened the first bottle, this one was clear with a mostly white label that transitioned to red and yellow on the front that read, “Pachamama - Fuji Apple strawberry nectarine” He shrugged and decided to give it a shot. After priming the coil with the fresh juice dripped on he inhaled the vapor deep into his lungs, and was delighted to find he enjoyed the flavor. A crisp apple taste and sweet nectarine enveloped his taste buds with a strong hint of strawberry on the after taste. It was certainly delicious, but again, not exactly what he was looking for. He fired the coil a few times, letting the juice vaporize without burning until he was reasonably certain it wouldn’t affect the next juice. He then proceeded to drip the next flavor onto the coil, examining the bottle has he did so. He found himself looking into the empty eyes of a skeleton wearing a cap on his head that read “Time Bomb” with the word “FUSE” across the bottom. Unsure of what to expect, he fired the mod again and inhaled deeply. A delightful aroma of watermelon filled his senses, and the sweet flavor of a mildly tart strawberry spread across his tongue.
“This is excellent.” he said to nobody in particular, smacking his tongue to spread the flavor around again, he took another drag and pondered. This flavor was superb, and would no doubt please someone looking for a strawberry and watermelon mixture, but alas, it was not the flavor he was searching for. That left only one bottle untested. He lifted the bottle up and read the purple label.ETHOS VAPORS - BLUEBERRY CRISPY was printed underneath an image of what looked vaguely reminiscent of the god zeus as depicted in stories with a flowing white beard. He was hesitant, but decided the employee certainly knew what a good flavor was, and he would trust him again on the off chance that this was the juice he was looking for. He fired the coil again, burning away the last of the juice and preparing it for one last test. He dripped the e-liquid onto the coil, watching as the cotton saturated fully. He fired it once, letting the juice on the coil burn away slightly so he would have a nice clean hit. Again, he took in a deep lung-full of the juice. The sweetness overwhelmed his senses, he closed his eyes and could imagine biting into a fresh out of the oven bar of a crispy marshmallow treat. There it was, the berry flavor he imagined, just at the edge of the sweet dessert flavor. It would have been perfect if it was a pure blueberry instead of just a complementary flavor. He sighed and beckoned the employee over, setting down the mod and shaking his head slightly. “These were all great, you truly know your juices.” he said, a hint of reverence in his voice. “Alas, this isn’t quite what I’m looking for. While they were all close, they aren’t the pure berry flavor I’ve spent these last few months on the road searching for.” The man frowned at him and picked up the bottles, examining them for a moment.
“Oh, that’s my mistake” he said “I thought I grabbed a fourth one for you” he turned and quickly scooped up the first bottle he had left on the back counter before he got the step ladder. “Here it is,Naked 100 - Really Berry. If this isn’t what you’re looking for, then they haven’t invented it yet.” he said with the easy confidence of a man who was so sure of his craft that he had no reason to pretend otherwise. The man was skeptical as always, but he couldn’t help but feel a slight thrill at how sure the employee was, finally allowing himself a dim hope of imagining the end of his quest. The man reached under the counter again and brought out another mod. “Here, so none of the other flavors are still on the coil” he handed it over, taking the first mod back. He looked at the fresh coil again, clear white cotton threaded through a similarly intricate coil. He opened the bottle and dripped enough juice until the cotton was thoroughly soaked through. He fired it once and dripped again. Finally replacing the top of the atomizer, he checked the wattage, and dared to try this final flavor.
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